This Is How I Fight My Battles

The room is noisy. Crowded. Chaos.

People making dinner. Reminiscing. Laughing.

The noise is good noise - happy. Full of love. Beautiful. Family together after lots of time apart.

But I heard a song this morning that I can't get out of my head. It resonates in my ears, my mind, my heart. The faint hum of this melody - a simple refrain singing over and over again: 'This is how I fight my battles..."

So I do something I've never done before - outside of running or studying. In a crowded room, full of people, noise and chaos - this Extrovert puts in her headphones. I push play.

Suddenly, the only noise I hear is:

"There is a table that you've prepared for me, in the presence of my enemies. 

This is how I fight my battles."

I hear nothing but these words. This music. The noise that filled me head only seconds ago is completely drowned out by these words. This Truth.

The Truth that was so faint before - almost imperceptible - is now loud and clear. It's the only thing I hear.

The noise I was drowning out wasn't bad. But how often is the noise that I'm hearing just drowning out the Voice of the One who loves me? How often am I overwhelmed by the thoughts and chaos of "You're not good enough." "You're a terrible mother." "Look at what all these other people are doing, you're never doing enough." "You're failing." "You've lost."

Then, the Voice of God rings faintly in my ears - "I am more than enough for you. You are loved. You are lovely because I love you. I will never let you go. I have called you by name, you are Mine."

The only way I can fight my battles is by filling my head with this Truth.

I'm enough because Christ overcame all things for me.

I'm good only because of Christ's victory on the cross.

I'm not lost - the battle is already won because Christ conquered it all for me.

"It may look like I'm surrounded, but I'm surrounded by You."

With the Truth of the Gospel. That is how I fight my battles.

"But now, this is what the Lord says —

    he who created you, Jacob,

    he who formed you, Israel:

“Do not fear, for I have redeemed you;

    I have summoned you by name; you are mine.

2 

When you pass through the waters,

    I will be with you;

and when you pass through the rivers,

    they will not sweep over you.

When you walk through the fire,

    you will not be burned;

    the flames will not set you ablaze.

3 

For I am the Lord your God,

    the Holy One of Israel, your Savior;

I give Egypt for your ransom,

    Cush[a] and Seba in your stead.

4 

Since you are precious and honored in my sight,

    and because I love you,

I will give people in exchange for you,

    nations in exchange for your life."

Isaiah 43:1-4

"Surrounded: Fight My Battles"